Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
