Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
