i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
