I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You may now shotgun with the bride
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
