i was born a porn star she said
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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