Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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