so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
