Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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