I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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