this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
