i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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