My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize