Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
