You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
