Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
