I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
