Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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