wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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