I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
