matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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