Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
