Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
