Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
