I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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