my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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