Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she looked like the before picture.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
