all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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