I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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