I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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