Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
These tits shall not be calmed
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
