Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
