I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Every concussion has its silver lining
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
