My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
