Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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