Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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