i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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