i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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