i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
