Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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