Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
just tell him i said nine months
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
