she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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