dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize