So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
