Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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