I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
