OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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