i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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