i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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