just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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