Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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