I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize