i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
