halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
