Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
