OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
