Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
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She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
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Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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