I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
