just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i think my cat just said my name.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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