i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
