Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
