I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
